Last time I checked I was still in this tent (2 Cor 5:1-5),
and groaning with sharing the burdens that have been trying to live in this
body tent with me. There are the
insecurities, like, comparing myself to other people and coming up short. There is the fear that covers that
inside of my tent with residue that gets into every pore. And the burden of the mortal me who has
evil’s to conceal. It gets crowded
in here.
The first part of this month my family and I planned a trip
to Germany, a family ministry trip.
I was scared, I mean really scared, the morning the tickets were bought
I thought the knot in my stomach would never un-cinch. The old panic to run, and figure out a
plan B was all too real. I
however, love this passage of scripture, and left to myself, I would live in
this tent. And yet… the Lord is ready to move me out of this stinking
tent. So, I packed, I prayed,
really prayed, and I received. I
received His words for me, “this is your time of training”; “I want to fill
your eyes, they have become empty”; “just trust Me”; and “you were made for
this, I made you remember”.
I pretty much thought I was going to self-destruct on the
first plane, that I was going to have a panic attack, that the kids were going
to get sick, that every conceivable outrage would come true. And if … if it did… I was going to have
to let what is ‘mortal be swallowed up by what is immortal.’ I was going to have to trust Him, and
that He has got me.
We arrived, the trip was what flying in a sardine can is
supposed to be like, but without a hitch, with family humor, and Davidisms a
plenty (my son is full of phrases).
A memory that will never be duplicated. But then…
I had to walk into the phase of ministering in whatever way
the Lord had for my husband and I.
We met people, we prayed for them, and guess what… Immortal took a big gulp. Oh yeah, a deep refreshing taste of how
good the Lord is, how much he loves me and this God child I was praying
for. And “he who prepared us for
this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.” He made good on this promise, that
guarantee is valid, eternal, and makes what is mortal absurd.
Next to who Jesus is, what Jesus did when He died for me,
and what Jesus has given me, my insecurities, my fears, my annoying
incompatibilities are absurd.
Rediculous. That doesn’t
mean I don’t feel them anymore, it means that I know what I am fighting
for. His thoughts for us are way
more important than our life-killing thoughts, and what He has in store for us
goes farther than our life-restraining plans, and I just got to stay in. The guarantee has been given me.
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