By God's Hand

Today is our last day of school before Christmas break. I worked on the final test; two questions from each subject including History, Grammar, Spanish, Math, Geography, Composition, Dictation, hmmm, will she get them all right? It's terrible to be a Mom and the teacher on this day, I want her to do so well. I want her to soar, to ace the test. I have to write the test and be sure it is fair, yet an accurate representation of all the subjects. Truth be known, it's a reflection of myself, her performance, and I squirm under the glass of evaluation. I was exhausted after writing the test. She was cramming, falling asleep with the light on. "That's my girl", I thought when I went to bed. This morning I started the test with Bible, the first question was, in your own words, explain what is the providence of God? (Heidelberg Catechism 1563, Question 27) She thought for a moment then without a pause said, "The providence of God is that we have been able to keep our house for two years. We didn't have money, but God told a lady to write a check, she did and so by God's hand we were able to keep our house." I wasn't expecting this answer, so confidently spoken and given to "the teacher". The answer on the key read, "The almighty and everywhere present power of God, whereby, as it were, by his hand, he still upholds heaven and earth, with all creatures, and so governs them that herbs and grass, rain and drought, fruitful and barren years, meat and drink, health and sickness, riches and poverty, yea, all things, come not by chance, but by his fatherly hand." I closed my eyes, smiled, trying to hide how pleased I was, she said "I think I got it right." Thank you Jesus for your hand and for the clarity of an eight year old.

Balance

My daughter rode her bike without training wheels for the first time yesterday. She's eight, well beyond the age of first time coasting, but I am proud nonetheless. She was the almost two year old who had not taken any baby steps and walked 20 feet into her Daddy's office at work, her first steps. Her Dad prayed for her before she even got on the bike that it would be a good experience, for protection. She didn't fall once, no tears, no skinned knees, just a big smile. A gift from the best Gift Giver. Maybe I am thrilled because I still don't know how to ride a bike, a task given to my brothers that was never completed, I can't balance. She was still beaming this morning when I greeted her at the breakfast table, dressed and ready to go for the day (a rarity in my house). In so many ways she surpasses me, she forgives deeply, she believes emphatically, she plays wholeheartedly, and she balances. I take hold of the challenge of raising children with both of my hands, but there are pieces of me I don't want them to be or see. The lack of balance and the well calculated expression all too familiar to me. My prayer today is that I would come out of my polarized self, let the everyday moments speak to me, that I would allow the Lord Jesus to help me balance.