The day after the clocks turn back.

Monday after any time change come much to quickly for me despite the supposed extra hour of sleep that my son didn't know we were to have. I managed to wield a great school day, but as 4:15 snuck up on me and I realized that it was getting dark and I had three loads of clothes to fold, supper to get into the crock pot, and a task list to make for my husband to complete so we could all enjoy a meal together. I mechanically worked through the tasks at hand, and was patting myself on the back as I made another sock snowball for the drawer. That's when I hear my nine year old scolding my five year old about the mess he had made on the kitchen floor. I was actually noting the maternal tone to her voice, and thinking about how exalting it is to hear her God given ability to scold play out before my ears. Well, I should have gone to check on the son who had been reminded to clean up his mess. I made it downstairs with no minutes to spare before we high-tailed it to swim practice, when I found the dog's water had been upset into a pool on the kitchen floor. Dog and child were splashing about in it. I wanted to sop them up with the water and ring them out.

Now, the spirit-filled, God fearing woman that I am should have said, "We all make messes, now help Moma clean them." But oh no, I had to grip the child by the shoulder and shake him just so as to make his teeth rattle. Which he took note of, and began humming in the back of his throat so it made that sound that kids like to make when they hum while going over bumps in the car. This produced a giggle from the child who I was shaking which just sent me over the edge. I pulled his body to mine and whacked his back quarters three times rather harshly. He then produced a pout and an impenitent sob. Dish towels (we all know they are just for dishes) and a nearby rug served as mops and we all got into the car. After replaying the past 10 minutes in my head, feeling the guilt rush in, and the "I can't believe I lost it like that" come from my mouth. I said, "D, can you forgive me for shaking you." And he does, every time.

I made an agreement with me that I was going to chill out and just pray and think while we waited for practice to end. The swimmers came out of the pool to awaiting towels, and as I escorted my swimmer to the family locker room I vaguely remembered noticing a sludge coming from her shoes. After arrival to the locked changing room I verified caked mud from the bottom and inside of her favorite sandals. There was a mud puddle the size of large pie around her feet. The exchange she made with my eyes was irrevocably, fear. First the old lady sigh came from my pit, and then the eyebrow, usually the right, one signifying I am done. She apologizes immediately, four years on her little brother, she knows that it's best to just confess and apologize. I had to let the tongue go again, dog gone it, and I roughly shoved her foot into one pant leg and manhandled the other wet leg into the warm-up clothes. Once again in a two hour time frame I was using absorbent anything to tackle a mess I did not make. I don't know what I said before this, but I have a name I call her when she has slowed me down, "Are ya ready Gertrude?" It is a weak and evil thing to mock a child. I wished that I hadn't done it as soon as I did. She looked down and said, "I don't know where all that mud came from."

The car ride was quiet and I was so looking forward to dinner and a table ready for the mess making, mess cleaning bunch. The cook had lost track of time and was scrambling to cover up the fact that he had not followed his list. This talented individual who calls me help-mate forgot to put the pre-packaged all white meat nuggets in the oven.

After tucking my daughter into bed, she smiled at me (I couldn't believe it either), and said, "You really gave it to Daddy." And this is when you say...

I didn't give anything good, in fact, I could have given grace to you, your brother, and your Dad, but I didn't and I am really sorry. I need Jesus to help me see that messes are made for us to see that we just need Him to help us clean 'em.

Grace giving God, help me to give good gifts to my kids, to anyone in my reach, and mend the ears of my kids from the foolish things I said today. That cup of tea never tasted so good after the goodnights were said, the dishes were done, and the assorted wet articles went into the washer.